FADE IN:
EXT. EL TACO LOCO MEXICAN RESTAURANT AND CANTINA–DAY
The front of the restaurant is rundown-looking but still functioning; there are one or two people who go in but they look dirty, as if El Taco Loco is (unfortunately) the best they can afford. Crows are heard “cawing” in the background. With the sign of the restaurant behind him, a young child sits on the curb in the parking lot about to bite into a scrumptious-looking burrito. The child bites in, smiling as he does so. He looks completely satisfied, as if that burrito is the best thing he’s ever eaten. As he chews happily, the camera zooms in on the burrito. The close-up reveals that the tortilla exterior of the burrito looks rather dry. Cracks have started to form up and down the length of the burrito. The red sauce and juice from the meat have started to seep through a bit, widening the cracks. The camera zooms out a bit as the child swallows, smiles, then goes in for another bite. As he sinks his pearly white teeth into the burrito, the aforementioned cracks in the burrito expand even further, then give way entirely, a large portion of the succulent rice, beans, and meat spilling (in slow motion) out of the tortilla and splattering onto the dirty, oil-stained pavement of the parking lot. The child stops mid-bite, strings of saliva stretching from his lower lip to the top of the ruined burrito. His eyes rapidly begin filling up with tears. He doesn’t start bawling, but tiny rivulets creep down his rosy cheeks, his lower lip quivering. The camera zooms out until it stops at KEITH ELMY. The child is still clearly visible in the frame behind him. KEITH is wearing a tan, military-style safari jacket, with a tan button-down shirt under it. A solemn look is plastered across his face.
KEITH: This scene is all too familiar. Everyday, all across the country, burritos are quickly and carelessly constructed, resulting in the horrifying scene you just witnessed. The people who assemble these so-called burritos don’t take into consideration the fact that making a burrito isn’t something you do on a whim, it’s something that takes a steady hand, a keen eye, and a lot of love. All of the pseudo-burrito slingers out there are destroying the lunch and dinner times of men, women, and children who occupy this great country of ours. Seeing young Billy behind me whimper for his botched burrito makes it look like we’ve hit a dead end, as if we’ve run out of hope. I’m here to say that that is certainly not the case. The solution to this problem is simple: education. If everybody learns how to properly make a burrito, we can avoid horrendous episodes like young Billy’s.
CUT TO: INT. A CLEAN, WELL-ORGANIZED KITCHEN
Standing in front of a clean counter top is KEITH, an older, beefy, jolly-looking Mexican woman named JUANITA, and young BILLY. A large metal box, a tortilla, and bowls of various burrito filler are neatly laid out.
KEITH: The best solution is usually the simplest one. Such is the case when making a burrito, right, Juanita?
JUANITA: Si, Mr. Keith. If you don’t want your burrito to fall apart, all you have to do is steam the tortilla before you make the burrito. (JUANITA lifts the lid on the metal box, places the tortilla inside, closes the lid, and presses a button on the outside of the box, causing steam to issue from the rear of the box)
KEITH: That metal box is a steamer, correct, Juanita?
JUANITA: Si, Mr. Keith, that is correct. The steam makes the tortilla soft and, uh, how do you say, pliable?
KEITH (smiling): Yes, you took the words right out of my mouth.
After a few moments, JUANITA takes the tortilla out of the metal box, lays it down on a piece of tinfoil, and begins putting copious amounts of rice, beans, and steak in the center of it. She tops it off with a bit of cheese and fresh salsa.
JUANITA: Mild salsa, Billy, si?
BILLY (smiling): Si, Ms. Juanita.
JUANITA (smiling at BILLY): Now all you have to do is fold the tortilla down over the top, then fold in the sides of the tortilla, then roll the whole thing over and you have a burrito. (JUANITA hands the burrito to BILLY, who takes a large, enthusiastic bite. As BILLY takes a second bite and then a third bite, the camera zooms in on the burrito only to find that it’s completely intact.)
KEITH (looking on proudly): Magnificent. As you can see, the steamed tortilla aids in moisture absorption and also expands along with the filling, which allows for optimum burrito cohesion. And I’ll bet it tastes pretty darn good, too, huh Billy?
BILLY swallows his mouthful, smiles, and gives a thumbs-up to the camera.
CUT TO: EXT. EL TACO LOCO MEXICAN RESTAURANT AND CANTINA–DAY
KEITH, JUANITA, and BILLY are standing in front of the restaurant, BILLY still munching happily on the burrito that JUANITA made for him. KEITH is standing with JUANITA on one side and BILLY on the other.
KEITH: Nobody’s perfect and it’s silly to pretend that we are. Making a perfect burrito, on the other hand, can be accomplished by anybody willing to take the time and effort to learn. That way, we can ensure a future that is free of burrito spillage so that, one day, tragedies like the one that young Billy here had to endure will be a thing of the past. Just remember: making a mess-free burrito is as simple as what, Billy?
BILLY (smiling and holding the half-eaten burrito): Steaming the tortilla!
KEITH (smiling along with JUANITA): That’s exactly right, you wrapped that up perfectly!
KEITH, JUANITA, and BILLY all break into cordial laughter.
FADE OUT