WEST CHESTER, PA–On Tuesday, Johnny O’Meara’s classmates were shocked and amazed when 8-year-old O’Meara exclaimed that he’d seen not only London and France, but Suzie Myers’ underpants as well.
O’Meara’s proclamation even took Mrs. Randolph, 2nd grade teacher at Edward J. Stephens Elementary, by surprise. “To be honest, I thought Johnny had identified London and France on the map that’s hanging up in the front of the classroom, ” Randolph said. “Despite the outburst, I was actually enthusiastic that Johnny, who, truth be told, is usually a bit of a daydreamer, finally took learning seriously. But then he said he saw Suzie’s underpants so I guess I got my hopes up too soon.”
Suzie Myers, whose underpants had allegedly been showing, immediately disputed O’Meara’s claim, citing the “liar, liar, pants on fire” defense. “There’s no way Johnny saw my underwear, ” said 7-and-a-half-year-old Myers. “I asked him what my underwear looked like and he said they were purple with flowers. If he’d actually seen them, he would’ve said that I had Strawberry Shortcake underwear on that day. He’s such a stupid boy.”
O’Meara’s fellow student and best friend, 7-year-old Randy Fleischman, says he was just glad to have a break in the monotony. “Who cares if Johnny really saw Suzie’s underpants? It was hilarious and way better than learning our times tables,” Fleischman said.
Despite the controversy, O’Meara sticks by his claim. “So I didn’t really see London or France, so what? I did see Suzie’s underpants though. They were sticking out the top of her jeans and I saw ’em. Like they say on TV, ’case closed.’”